Posted: April 6th, 2012 | Author: Ben Caro| No Comments »
Musical Compositions Consisting Mostly or Entirely of Silence:
Posted: March 27th, 2012 | Author: Hannah Ross| No Comments »
Events that I’ve won– that bring more shame than fame:
1. Best In Show, dog costume, dachshund on Radio-Flyer© (modified to hotdog bun). 1995.
2. Most Shots (without shaking), of espresso. 2002.
3. Least Eaten, turkey leg, Disneyworld Orlando. 2003.
4. Fastest Group, hog wrangled in mud, Wyoming. 2005.
5. Most items amended to animal-style, In-And-Out Burger. 2008.
Posted: March 20th, 2012 | Author: Ben Caro| 2 Comments »
TODAY'S TOP NEWS, SCORED
"Social media campaign prompts U.S. police to reinvestigate the death of black teenager"
Social media [1]
black teenager [still 0]
winner: social media
"Romney looks for Ill. win while Santorum stumbles"
Romney [435]
Santorum [311]
winner: Obama
"Bales Doesn't Recall Details of Alleged Attack, Attorney says"
Details of alleged attack [0]
memory loss [1]
winner: memory loss
"Explosion across Iraq kill at least 29: sources"
Iraq civilian casualties [0]
obscure citations [1]
winner: obscure citations
Dollar stuck near one-week low; Aussie falters
Dollar [0]
Aussie [0]
winner: tie
"Asian Stocks Fall as china Raises Fuel Prices; Commodities Drop"
Raising [1]
Dropping [1]
winner: tie
"Facebook's Zuckerburg Skips Analyst Meeting"
Precience of "The Social Network" Writing [1]
Zuckerburg [1,000]
winner: always Zuckerburg
Posted: March 15th, 2012 | Author: Hannah Ross| No Comments »
How many licks does it take to contract contact dermatitis?
How is it that old people smell the same?
How do you locate the sovereign nation of Latifah?
How does an ancillary character make it in the big city?
Hur förstår du det?
Posted: September 1st, 2011 | Author: Inês Teles| 1 Comment »
Posted: August 27th, 2011 | Author: Hannah Ross| 1 Comment »
THINGS YOU CANNOT EXIT, WILLINGLY:
1. Conibear Traps.
2. Your In-law’s Conversation.
3. The Eleven-Circuit Chartres Labyrinth.
4. Pit Disguised by Leaves.
5. Purgatory.
Posted: August 23rd, 2011 | Author: Richard Marks| 1 Comment »
Question: What is your favorite kind of bird?
Bloom from Bangkok, Thailand:
“Eagle? Why? Or maybe duck.”
–Thank you
“What it for?”
–Can’t tell you. Top secret.
“errrrrg. Ok. Can I have the duck with the green head? The one that people hunt. And Labrador have to go get it in the water.”
…
“Seems like you have a lot of free time.”
Brian from Chicago, Illinois:
“Probably a penguin or an owl.”
–Pick one.
“An eagle.”
Cole from Hoboken, New Jersey:
“Kingfisher or morning grosbeak.”
–Pick one
“Kingfisher.”
Moin from Dhaka, Bangladesh:
“Hard to say. I don’t really like pigeons.”
“The Krakatoa! …They look and act cool.”
–That is a volcano…
“It’s a bird too…”
–Not according to my Google search, but I’ll take it. (*turns out he was thinking of a Kakatua)
PJ from Baltimore, Maryland:
“Bird?”
–Yes. Bird. Favorite?
“I don’t know if I’ve given enough thought to this answer. So I’ll say Oriole.”
Will from Syracuse, NY and Baltimore, MD:
“That blue sucker. It’s goofy as shit and I love it.”
*see Bonus Video for… video.
Linnea from Gothenburg, Sweden:
“hmm.. maybe a swan.”
Dan from Columbo, Sri Lanka:
“Depends how drunk I am.”
Ilaria from Leidschendam-Voorburg, Netherlands
“A duck? Yes. They are cute.”
Posted: August 12th, 2011 | Author: Hannah Ross| No Comments »
THE ADDRESSES I’VE HAD OVER THE PAST 6 YEARS.
Willoughby Avenue, Brooklyn, NY
East 25st Street, New York, NY
Third Avenue, New York, NY
East 7th Street, New York, NY
Fishamble Street, Dublin, Ireland.
East 26th Street , New York, NY
South Bryan Flats Road, Jackson, WY
McCadden Street, Hollywood, CA
Wilcox Place, Hollywood, CA
Ivar Avenue, Hollywood Hills, CA
Huddleston Road, London, UK
West Lafayette Avenue, Baltimore, MD
Posted: August 12th, 2011 | Author: Hannah Ross| No Comments »
FAMOUS INCOMPATIBILITIES.
1. Casimir Effect
2. Bleach & Ammonia
3. Proslepsis
4. Lindsay Bluth Fünke & Tobias Fünke
5. Apollo 13
Posted: August 11th, 2011 | Author: Ben Caro| No Comments »
LIST: ADULT CEREALS THAT USED TO BE KIDS’ CEREALS
Wheat Toast Crunch
%75 Dark Cocoa Puffs
Superstitious Charms
Trix (sp.)
Superfruit Loops
Honey Combover
Anne Rice Crispies
Posted: August 9th, 2011 | Author: Inês Teles| No Comments »
Posted: August 8th, 2011 | Author: Hannah Ross| No Comments »
Craiglistings, Washington DC.
Posted: August 8th, 2011 | Author: Inês Teles| No Comments »
Posted: August 3rd, 2011 | Author: Richard Marks| No Comments »
Appropriate Compilations:
-The entire series of The King of Queens, starring Kevin James.
-reddit
-An album of holiday photos from various trips you made last year.
-A teacher’s organized stack of files containing productive worksheets for his/her English conversation classes.
-A guide to the best bars in Bangkok.
-A “favorites folder” with links to free online documentaries.
Inappropriate Compilations:
-Now That’s What I Call Music! through Now That’s What I Call Music! 38
-4chan
-An album of party photos from the nights you don’t remember last year.
-A teacher’s list of students he/she wants to seduce.
-A guide to the best lady-bars in Pattaya.
-The list of websites you will only view in an “Incognito Window”
Posted: August 1st, 2011 | Author: Ben Caro| No Comments »
Your friend says, “Hold on just a second, I forgot my…”
1. socks [GREEN]
2. clean socks [BLUE]
3. government bond [ORANGE]
4. grandmother’s hairpin that she let her friend Phyllis borrow in 1947 and then forgot to ask for it’s return.
5. glasses [RED]
KEY:
CODE GREEN – Relax. Everything will be better in a couple of minutes.
CODE BLUE – Okay, a tiny bit more complicated. But we’ll get there.
CODE ORANGE – This might take a bit. You should probably adjust your expectations as to when you will be arriving at your next destination. But hope is not lost. I mean, it’s a government bond. It’ll be somewhere. The internet?
CODE YELLOW – Prepare to be very late. What kind of investigation does this involve? First, your friend has to call his grandmother, supposing she is still awake. Then he must get the contact info of her friend Phyllis, whom we are now supposing is not only awake, but alive. Then, supposing that Phyllis lives within a reasonable distance, you both have to drive over there to pick up the hairpin, of course, supposing the hairpin hasn’t been lost. It’s reasonable to assume you’re not going to make it.
CODE RED – Buy new glasses. Get a new friend.
Posted: July 30th, 2011 | Author: Ben Caro| No Comments »
OTHER ZONE LAYERS
1. Azone layer – A nondescript reference to any zone layer.
2. Ezone layer – An intangible, imperceptible boundary that forms in a roughly square foot radius around someone while they use a computer. Breaking that layer better be for good reason, or should wait until the email has been sent.
3. Izone layer – The human soul. Located directly within the spiritual, personal and social layers.
4. Uzone layer – The thin film that forms around food fried in a tempura batter.
Posted: July 27th, 2011 | Author: Che Kershaw| 1 Comment »
Ways to enjoy your own company:
- take yourself out on a movie date. Order extra popcorn
- read a book
- have a picnic for one
- epic bath-time, candles, wine, chocolate etc
- cook yourself something tasty
- Have a nap. don’t set an alarm
- take yourself to a cafe and people watch
- go for a walk. if you’re feeling hectic, go for a run
- Make lists. of all things.
- Write letters. Real, hand-written letters. Post them.
Posted: July 24th, 2011 | Author: Che Kershaw| No Comments »
Backlog – an accumulation of unfinished work or backed up orders.
List of things I’m currently Backlogging:
- Wedding Invitation Stationery Set One (Caroline and Brett) – including colour adjustments and font changes to be made.
- Wedding Invitation Stationery Set Two (Kerry and Stu) – including Thank you cards and Table Numbers.
- Printing and photographing new Wedding Stationery for Portfolio
- New Website building
- Cartoon blog post
- Photograph editing for blog post
- Reply to several emails
- Mail package
- Write two more thank you cards for birthday gifts received
- Complete Lesson Development plan – Police Station Theme
Posted: July 23rd, 2011 | Author: Ben Caro| No Comments »
Positive and Negative Kicking
Positive kicking: Kicking it up a notch.
Negative kicking: Kicking someone while he’s down.
Positive kicking: Your dog, Rex, kicking because you’re scratching it in just the right spot.
Negative kicking: Your dog, Rex, kicking you in the face while you were scratching him.
Positive kicking: Your heart’s still kicking!
Negative kicking: You’re kicking yourself for not eating healthier when you were younger so you didn’t have a heart attack in the first place.
Positive kicking: Your youngest is one of the MVPs of his soccer team and is trying out for a traveling league.
Negative kicking: Your eldest is getting kicked out of school for possession of a knife.
Positive kicking: Your therapist opens up a conversation with, “So, hey! What’s kicking?”
Negative kicking: Kicking your therapist’s coffee table after opening up about your delinquent brother.
Positive kicking: Getting a kick out of fantasy football.
Negative kicking: Gary from accounting kicking your ass at fantasy football, leading you to lose interest and focus more attention on your dog.
Posted: July 22nd, 2011 | Author: Ben Caro| No Comments »
Five Things You Didn’t Know About Florida
- Home to Clearwater, which has the highest rate of lightning strikes per capita in the U.S.
- The first ATM was installed in Miami, FL, specifically and especially for rollerbladers.
- Home to Venice, known as the Shark Tooth Capital of the World. Visitors and residents alike spend a lot of time hunting and collecting.
- The only state with two rivers with the same name. There is a Withlacoochee in north central Florida (Madison County) and a Withlacoochee in central Florida. They have nothing in common.
- The Boggy Bayou Mullet Festival is celebrated the third weekend in October. In which city? Niceville, of course.
