2 Elthorne Road / London / Archway
16 – 23 June, 2011 / M- Sa: 12P – 5PM
From June 16th to the 23rd, there will be an installation at the Concourse Gallery, London. There you will be able to watch the live feed as our contributors submit, read an anthology of the work from Feb – May, and even submit your own entry!
THE TEN WAYS OF LOOKING AT A CLOCK REPAIRMAN GAME
(Re-imagining of Roger Zelanzny’s re-imagination of Wallace Steven’s “13 ways of looking at a blackbird.”)
1. Once there was a man who repaired clocks because that was what he loved doing more than anything else in the world, and he dedicated his life to do so.
2. Once there was a man who repaired clocks because society required regulation, and timeliness was pertinent to prevent anarchy.
3. Once there was a man who hated clocks, but repaired them for a living to support his manic wife on a regimen of quaaludes and Xanex to distract her from her Barney’s charge card account balance being overdue.
4. Once there was a man who intentionally mis-assembled the clocks that he hated, causing countless overlaps in changing of the guards.
5. Once there was a man who started to think of his clocks as friends because they manage our days, indicate our late night chat show programs, and organize our potential social calendar.
6. Once there was a man who repaired clocks for the New Jersey crime syndicate. He played coy to to Zino’s fish monger, which was running a counterfeit tilapia ring outside the back of the wholesale nine and dime.
7. Once there was a man who was stuck repairing clocks because his in-laws owned a clock repair business and he had no other skills, job references, or a GED to save him otherwise.
8. Once there was a man who was cursed into repairing clocks, in fear that not doing so would result in a poor quarterly yield in crops for his family.
9. Once there was a man who pretended to repair clocks, but really just enjoyed playing with miniature tools, oil, and spending the day alone in his house’s detached garage.
10. Once there was a man who was always late because he used a mis-assembled watch that he bought from a mobster repairmen who threatened a drought if he dared haggle on the resale value.
IN CONTEXT OF HANNAH’S PROPENSITY FOR CHEESE
Jon: I’d capture the moon for you.
Hannah: Hm… I’d rather have you hunt it.
Jon: Fine, I’d kill the moon for you.
Hannah: Damn right.
LOW PRESSURE SYSTEM
Time passes like the winds of the lunar year,
an atmospheric pressure system comes near,
remaining woeful at sea level-down here,
yet winds diverge in the upper troposphere,
leaving embedded shortwave troughs unclear.
Autumn creeps towards its starting minutes,
the blanketed sunshine now scarcely emits.
Leaves change intrinsically ebbing to steer,
dark gloomy gristled drinking a Heineken beer,
indisposed amid the themed bar Belvedere,
eyes glazed and shine of anthocyanins severe,
crooked teeth which carotenoids interfere.
Silence broken by the drone of crickets,
“Yo- can you just gimme your digits?”
A GUIDE TO BUILDING A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP, AS TOLD BY A CONSTRUCTION FOREMAN
This guide has a variety of applications including alteration, routine maintenance, and renovation to make for a more suitable and comfortable love life. You may have found that despite having the necessary background experience, your relationship could use modifications that go beyond the system guidelines for obtaining proper strength and stability.
1. FIRST, IMPROVE THE UNDERCOAT: In order to be able to withstand four times the weight of another, you ought to first be able to have a healthy self-supporting scaffold. The general requirements for a confident ego is being able to support your own weight and components on a firm foundation to reduce displacement. Once you have mastered the complexity of the appropriate self-reliant system, you can take on the workload of another.
2. FIND THE BAD CONNECTION: If there isn’t a sign of trouble, but the wire in a wirenut doesn’t stay lined up and becomes twisted, you may have to check, undo, and redo some of your personal gaslighting.
3. BEGIN ROUGHING-IN: If you’re altering your existing relationship, or installing a new girlfriend, you must always present detailed plans of the work you intend to undertake and will likely be inspected as the work progresses. As long as you comply with your partner’s constraints, you won’t impair the stability nor undermine the foundation.
4. WORK COLLECTIVELY: As a general rule, it’s important that all parts of your projective identification do not ruminate into resentment. When estimating the potential, take the blame by directing the bitter energy and irresponsibility of resentment back toward oneself in order to get along or gain certified approval. Don’t use hard words to support the relationship; this will damage the pipelines of communication and must never be used as temporary OR permanent compound solutions for joint tenancy.
5. BE THE J CHANNEL OF THE LAST DRYWALL SHEET: When properly erected and maintained, the longevity of your relationship will far outweigh the time spent on laying down the groundwork!
BEFORE YOU ASK WHY, ASK WWXD*?
68 Tottenham Court Road, SoHo, London, UK.
*= What would Xenu Do?
PHENOMENA DISCOVERED IN MY FRIDGE (RE: FOUR MALE FLATMATES):
1. Flower shaped iced-cubes.
3. Pepper in a pepper.
4. Sainsbury’s Mild Cheddar.
5. Baked beans.
PIN THE TAIL ON THE OLIGARCH.
What’s mine is yours
and yours is mine
most of the time.
Processions between the possessive
tactile goods tacitly imply
I’m yours and
But before the need
for things, thoughts, emotions
take a step back
assess the true worth
of Me Mine I’m.
You want what you cannot have
to have what you do not want
the lapse that brings together
No one knows the future
or can inevitably go back in time.
Einmal ist keinmal
Eein mal ist kein mal
I’m taking back what’s mine.
Finale show of the Fringe Brighton Festival. Trapeze artists clinging to the top of the former floor.
2. Suggestions to other drivers, behind closed windows.
3. Constructive criticism on others’ tattoos.
4. Scientific name for Western Lowland Gorilla (Gorilla Gorilla Gorilla).
THINGS THAT NEED NO INNOVATION:
1. The Roaming Marches / Day X.
2. Members of the Royal Family on the Civil List.
3. Andrew Lansley’s Privatization of the NHS.
4. DPM Nick Clegg’s Fiscal Stance With “Yellow Bastards.”
5. Downing Street.