“What the fuck is ‘manful’?” he asks, with irritation.
“What it sounds like. I dunno, I’m telling you, nowhere in the rules does it say I have to know the definition of a word to play it.”
“You know what, I have some work to catch up on. Sorry, don’t mean to bail on you.”
“Oh no, you can’t just stop playing because you are getting your ass handed to you. And yes, you do mean to bail. Why say the exact opposite of what you’re doing? You need to be more manful in your extracurricular activities.”
GERRYMANDERING: The manipulation of community district lines for partisan incumbent advantage. The term originated in 1812 when Gov. Elbridge Gerry warped Boston area districts, so his surname was combined with a salamander (which resembled how the new district lines appeared).
problem: big seat
solution: big bike seat
2. Monkey (Bonobo)
3. Bird (African Grey)
1. Human (Conservative)
2. Monkey (Chimpanzee)
3. Bird (Most)
THINGS USED TO DRAW PERFECT CIRCLES
2. Vase bottom
3. Dinner plate
4. Jar lid
in clear waters there
lies a world flipped on its head
“Sometimes I feel like I am cursed by mediocrity. I have no passions to cultivate, no ‘thing’ to call my own. My writing may be the only thing I do outside of basic subsistence living, and even then, it is only thinly veiled bitching. Can complaining be a positive trait? I suppose it requires one to be in tune with his emotions and desires at every given moment, if only to reject every moment as unsatisfactory.”
Simon continued for a page and a half in this vein. He kept his journal, a blue and white floral cloth-bound notebook, on top of his night stand. A few days later, he found his pen wedged in the book even though he remembered specifically that he left the pen beside the book. Who had been handling his belongings? Simon flipped to the page held by the pen. A message in his brother’s script read as such:
“I don’t understand why you are so hard on yourself. From what I have read, I think you are a good writer. You have a talent uncommon for someone your age, and you should be proud of this. I know mom, dad, and I are all proud of you.” The message was made official by a hasty signature in the fading blue ink.
Simon sat staring at the message for a few minutes after reading. He was offended by the off-hand manner in which his brother confessed to reading his journal, and confused by the seemingly earnest tone of the intrusion. He knew his brother lacked tact, but shame was important, if not to signal wrong-doing, then to deter unwanted violations of privacy. Simon grabbed the page his brother scrawled on and prepared to tear the page out. On further consideration, he smoothed the newly made creases and closed the notebook, content with this new autograph and inscription.
We were watching “Big Trouble in Little China” starring Kurt Russel and Kim Cattrall. It was nearly five years ago, and we didn’t know then what a luxury it was to be able to sit around stoned, eating Lay’s guacamole and lime flavored potato chips. There we were, two idiot kids arguing over the remote.
confusing fashion trends among orthodox jewish women:
1. nude ankle socks
2. head wraps
3. wig-like bobs
NEW YORK CITY TAXI & LIMOUSINE COMMISSION PASSENGER BILL OF RIGHTS
New York City Taxi & Limousine Commission (TLC) of the United States began and held at the City of New York, on Wednesday the fourth of March, one thousand nine hundred and seventy one.
THE Commission oversees of a number of vehicles, having at the time of their adopting the licensing, expressed a desire, in order to prevent misconstruction or abuse of incense/smoke, talk radio, or horn honking, that further declaratory and restrictive clauses should be added: And as extending the ground of public confidence in hired fares, will best ensure the beneficent ends of its institution.
RESOLVED by the state of New York of the United States of America, in TLC assembled, NYC, Westchester, Nassau, and/or Newark Airport, that the following Articles be proposed to the citizens of the several counties, as amendments to the journey, all, or any of which Articles, when ratified by said Commission, to be valid to all intents and purposes, as part of the said Constitution; viz.
A neighborhood boy speeds away on his bicycle self-importantly. He is off looking for some young ones that have been missing since lunch time. It is now evening, and the autumn sky is reddening. The cover of dogwood fruits that litter the yards is the same color of the pinks and oranges of the clouds. The sky is aglow with the dying light, a fading memory of morning. A mother paces on the porch with her hair in blue curlers. “Should I call the cops?” she thinks. A common scene where young boys will pass their time, can at anytime be a picture of heartbreak.