CHAMPION. [GMT-4 WASH DC]

Events that I’ve won– that bring more shame than fame:

1. Best In Show, dog costume, dachshund on Radio-Flyer© (modified to hotdog bun). 1995.

2. Most Shots (without shaking), of espresso. 2002.

3. Least Eaten, turkey leg, Disneyworld Orlando. 2003.

4. Fastest Group, hog wrangled in mud, Wyoming. 2005.

5. Most items amended to animal-style, In-And-Out Burger. 2008.