JOURNAL. [GMT-8 LOS ANGELES]

Posted: June 21st, 2011 | Author: | No Comments »
WHAT TO SAY WHEN SOMEONE FINDS OUT YOU HAVE A DIARY
1. It’s not a diary. It’s…
  • Journal
  • Daybook
  • Self-reflective quotidian register of current affairs
  • Mind your own damn business

2. It’s not a banana in my pocket. It’s…

  • An erection
  • A plantain, you ignorant redneck
  • My hand
  • I’m happy to see you

3. It’s not a smooth jazz record. It’s…

  • Norah Jones
  • Nu-Jazz, as if that doesn’t sound just as stupid
  • Woodwind-enriched pop
  • Not country, at least, you ignorant redneck

4. It’s not Twilight. It’s…

  • Harry Potter
  • Anne Rice maybe
  • Something really cool. It’s just that I don’t read books with dust jackets.
  • New Moon, you ignorant redneck

JOURNAL. [GMT+2 POLAND]

Posted: June 21st, 2011 | Author: | No Comments »

TUESDAY

On a blustery train station platform a man picks dog hairs off the back of a woman’s navy blue coat.

“Don’t miss my arse!” she shouts into the wind.

 


JOURNAL. [GMT+1 LONDON]

Posted: June 21st, 2011 | Author: | No Comments »

EXCERPTS FROM MY JOURNAL, THIS YEAR:

Jan 09, 2011
Forgot that I had to submit my critical journal for grad school. Finished it in about three hours, about “Anthropomorphic Victorian Taxidermy,” and “Anatomical Art.”

Jan 24, 2011
Does it count as being a morning person if you stay up the whole night?

Jan 30, 2011
Email from a colleague in regards to a lecture: “Please try to bear in mind that the text is really difficult, it won’t involve me banging on in a prolonged professional manner.”

Feb 15, 2011
Was sent an interview selection for ARTE.TV (France). Last question: “My project not realized that I prefer?”

Feb 24, 2011
Gave a lecture: “The Nature of Creativity: Predisposition vs. Preparation; and Evolving the Stigma of the ‘Tortured Artist.'” Lecture lead to fights and had to be cut short.

Feb 29, 2011 – LEAP YEAR – N/A
I love the Megafauna Era.

Mar 02, 2011
Text from Hugh, the chef: “Would you rather have the power of flight or xray vision?”

Mar 23, 2011
A death row prisoner that’s writing me said he didn’t want to continue because he found out that I was writing his friend and he didn’t want to share pen pals.

April 25, 2011
Me: I thought you’d appreciate the miappropriation of this old english type face.
Typographer: It continues the dialogue of cultural exchange between Britain and Jamaica – although it could do with some of the flair the Jamaican’s used on their flag when they decided to retain the Scottish saltire from the Union Flag for their own purposes.

April 29, 2011
Royal Wedding. Didn’t sleep the night before until maybe 7AM – so I forced myself up at 10AM. Couldn’t be bothered to go into the tourist swamp pit so I took a photo of the tv.

May 01, 2011
I’m satisfied that I wouldn’t even know where to begin to look for a party bus.

May 04, 2011
BBM From Aidan the designer: “Wot u mean I type lyk a 14yr old gal?”

May 09, 2011
I should start saving my McSweeny’s rejection letters. They’re so colorful.


TROUBLE. [GMT-8 LOS ANGELES]

Posted: June 21st, 2011 | Author: | No Comments »

There's your trouble.


TROUBLE. [GMT-4 NEW YORK]

Posted: June 21st, 2011 | Author: | No Comments »

We were watching “Big Trouble in Little China” starring Kurt Russel and Kim Cattrall. It was nearly five years ago, and we didn’t know then what a luxury it was to be able to sit around stoned, eating Lay’s guacamole and lime flavored potato chips. There we were, two idiot kids arguing over the remote.


TROUBLE. [GMT+1 LONDON]

Posted: June 21st, 2011 | Author: | No Comments »