PHENOMENA DISCOVERED IN MY FRIDGE (RE: FOUR MALE FLATMATES):
1. Flower shaped iced-cubes.
3. Pepper in a pepper.
4. Sainsbury’s Mild Cheddar.
5. Baked beans.
PHENOMENON UNEXPECTEDLY WORKING IN MY FAVOR:
- Any door in my father’s new house that I don’t know the use of seems to automatically lead to a bathroom.
- My sister’s public speaking reticence allows me to use her material for my own wedding toast gain.
- Combination of skinny jeans plus healthy tan leads to appearance of having been working out, which is sadly not the case.
PHENOMENON UNEXPECTEDLY WORKING AGAINST ME:
- Father’s new house smelling like childhood friend’s old house, causing sporadic cravings to play online game Everquest.
- Losing my phone charger leads to newfound knowledge that my entire family’s are equally compatible, further reducing incentive not to lose my phone charger.
- Mother’s sudden herbal and health food kick and subsequent lack of simple carbs in the house, causing me to eat inordinate amounts of raisins instead, fervently aiding digestion.