THE LAST STRAW?
In a library, an elderly woman stands up reading a newspaper. She wears a beige jumper with a sequined pattern on the chest and a beige cardigan over the top. She wears black trousers with a crease down the front and shiny black shoes. She has a shiny black handbag over her right forearm.
She refolds the newspaper and replaces it on the stand.
She walks out of the library, crosses the street and throws a brick through the window of a bank.
Rothko is fidgeting underneath the table with his sandpaper tongue lapping greedily. The man looks at his dog sternly and pulls his sandwich out from Rothko’s view. He looks at the dog once again, tears off the end of the baguette and tosses it to the ground gruffly. Rothko glances at the piece of bread and back at his owner with a confused look. The dog growls indignantly, “Really. Years of supplication and constant companionship for lousy back rubs and crusty-ass french bread. I should tear out your throat.” The man drops his sandwich to the ground in disbelief; his jaw follows suit. Rothko laps up the remains with vigor, tail wagging joyously as a tail should after a battle has been rightfully won—with one empty threat and a guilt-trip.
HOW TO TAIL SOMEONE, AND HOW TO FIND CONSISTENT AUTO BODY CLIENTS IF YOUR NAME IS FRANK NODD
IN A CAR
- Lower your headlights and keep a safe distance. Try to put other vehicles between you and the mark.
- If you’re not concerned with property damage or arousing suspicion, break one of their taillights. The bare white glow of the bulb should be visible from many yards away, giving you a clear mark on your target.
- Organize a buddy system. Have a primary person tailing the mark, while a few others tail the primary. Every two blocks, rotate, making sure the next in line has a clear identification of the target.
- When the target reaches a destination, the primary should signal, and the followers should disperse in separate directions.
IN A BUILDING
- If they take the elevator, you have no choice but to follow them. Make sure to get off on a different floor, apprehend a blank piece of paper from a copy machine, then swiftly return to the target’s exit level.
- Depending on whether the building is carpeted, you may be able to follow their movements without ever resorting to visual contact. In this manner, it’s especially helpful to have prior knowledge of the interior, so that other aural clues, such as a door opening, can help you track the target’s path.
- Once the target passes by the communal kitchen area, duck in. Write on your piece of paper, “Frank Nodd’s Auto Body Shop-Fender bender? Scratched paint? Broken tail light? Stop in, and we’ll take care of all your needs,” and place it on the frigerator.