Runyon Canyon. Los Angeles, CA.
Tom is pleased with finding an empty row of seats. He scans the row for vomit and sits down. Before he sees him, he smells him. Across the way, a man sits with his chin tucked deep into his chest. The man is thirty-two years old, but looks more like fifty. His feet are swollen and red, stuffed into tattered cross-trainers wrapped in black plastic bag. Tom scans the man from head to toe, reflexively shaking his head. The man awakens from his stupor and catches Tom’s eye. Tom shifts his gaze to the subway map behind the man. The announcer calls Atlantic Avenue-Pacific Street; both men rise in anticipation. The train jolts suddenly upon arrival and the man falls to the ground, his bags scuffling across the floor searching for a grip. Tom moves his arm in close for the man to grab hold of; his fists are balled up. Commuters pile in carelessly; a stroller bridges the gap, and rambunctious teens come in cursing, flailing book bags from one arm. Tom loses his footing in the sudden rush and crashes into the man. His face presses against the grizzled visage, his body nearly slips into the fold of a greasy trench coat. The man’s sweatpants are damp. Tom pushes himself up from the man’s body. “Sorry,” he says.
HIS RECOGNIZABLE LIMBIC MECHANISMS ARE SO HOT.
We will overlook a “nice” relationship if our limbic brain (reptilian) doesn’t detect their attachment mechanisms. Therefore, we will always choose a recognizable prototype, even if it causes misery.
This odd occurrence can be explained as such: In being a social creature, straying from one’s prototype is limbically equal to isolation, coupled with the fact that loneliness outweighs most pain. We will continue to be drawn to what we recognize above what’s best for us.
HOW ATTACHMENTS ARE FORMED:
Buried deep within the cerebrum are several large clusters of limbic neurons. Their determinations are based on social, emotional, and cognitive stimulation during the first few months and years of a child’s life. These are preeminent in the adult’s mediation and expression of emotional, motivational, sexual, and social behavior.
STEP ONE: ACCEPTING THAT YOU HAVE A PROBLEM:
Alice Miller suggests that you can override your limbic intuitions:
“No one has a natural propensity to feed on poisonous plants, but some of us do that all the same because we know of no alternative, because we cling to what is familiar to us, those things we have developed strategies to deal with, and hence survive. If someone is present to help us recognize the behavior patterns of our parents in the context of our own childhoods, then we will no longer be forced to perpetuate those patterns blindly.”
HK PROPERTIES OVERLOOKING THE SEA (A SELECTION)
Address: Block 7 Residence Oasis, Hang Hau, Tseung Kwan O, New Territories. Description: 3 bedrooms, southwest facing so you’ll be spending a lot on air conditioning, clubhouse with pool, above an MTR mall built on a patch of reclaimed land with no sense of place. Conveniently located a few stops from Hong Kong’s largest landfill site. But, sea view. Buy: HK$8.5 million
Address: The Grand Waterfront, To Kwa Wan, Kowloon. Description: 4 bedrooms, on Victoria Harbour, Velazquez imitations in the lobby, chandeliers in the lifts and a clubhouse with massage chairs to make up for the fact that you and your kids live in a box on the 53rd floor. Next door to China Gasworks. But, sea view (if you crane your neck a bit). Buy: HK$16.8 million
Address: The Grand Promenade, Sai Wan Ho, Hong Kong. Description: Renovated apartment on extremely high floor, spacious living and dining areas, balconies, fully-fitted kitchen and bathrooms. Full club facilites. Building is above a bus terminus. Faint odour of sewage wafting up from Aldrich Bay typhoon shelter. But, jacuzzi with 180-degree sea view. Buy: HK$24.5 million
Address: The Lily, Repluse Bay, Hong Kong. Description: Brand new apartments (various units available) with ultra-stylish interiors courtesy of Nina Wang. The building may look like a gigantic urinal from the outside, but with those ultra-stylish interiors filled with happy rich western families in the brochure, who cares. And of course, stunning panoramic sea view. Rental only: from HK$195,000/month