Tree. Bonus Video!

This Must be a British Monkey.

POINTING. [GMT-4 WASH DC]

 © Hannah Ross

TODD’S BLOG #2: A Video Blog from Someone Who Knows Nothing About Computers

DOCUMENTARY. [GMT-7 LOS ANGELES]

To Make it Rain, or Not to Make it Rain?

STACK. [GMT-4 WASH DC]

Stack. Bonus Video!

I Can Has Crabs.

DOCUMENTARY. [GMT-4 WASH DC]

Things U Better Recognize

RECOGNIZE. [GMT-7 LOS ANGELES]

Most if not all traffic signals.

What it means to be a woman.

Who the president and vice president is.

The capital of Hungary, in case Jay Leno asks you.

Jay Leno, so you can avoid him.

Poorly hidden anger in the face of your significant other.

The sodium content in a box of french fries.

That person who seems overjoyed to see you again whose name, I’m sorry, just happens to escape you at that moment.

Shakespeare references.

He is Sam Sneed.

Branding Gone Terribly Wrong.

RECOGNITION. [GMT-4 WASH DC]

Do you know what this store DOESN’T sell?

• Fried Food.

What does it sell?

• Store Fixtures.

Was anyone disappointed?

• Yes. Yes I was.

Narrow, Wide, and Botched Escapes

ESCAPE. [GMT-7 LOS ANGELES]

NARROW ESCAPES

1. Sliding underneath a closing stone door. Grabbing your hat as the door closes.

2. Getting tackled in the street by a good samaritan as you feel something slap your long, brown hair as a bus whisks by.

3. Barely coming up with an excuse to leave as Derek, the comely good samaritan, asks for your number.

WIDE ESCAPES

1. Almost forgetting to spray your perfume before you go to the Agency on Friday night with your friends.

2. Hiding behind your friends after nearly being spotted by Derek, who just happens to be at the club — what are the chances.

3. Finding Derek really good-looking after a few drinks, dancing, and a good conversation in one of the club’s dark corners.

BOTCHED ESCAPES

1. Moving in with Derek due to his constant nagging about lack of money.

2. Taking a night out on your own while Derek is out of town and ending up at Johnathon’s apartment. You’re ready to go but as Johnathon’s hand slides down your waist there’s something like pain that creeps into your throat, and you can’t, you’re sorry, you shouldn’t. You leave Johnathon’s house and you shouldn’t be driving.

3. Getting bailed out of jail for a DUI by Derek when he gets home the next day. When he asks what’s wrong with you, you tell him you can’t be with him any longer. He starts to cry behind the wheel, and the both of you can’t speak til you get home and start unpacking your stuff. You get out and you stay at Kristy’s on her couch. You’re closing your eyes trying to get to sleep while the mockingbirds begin to chirp and the sun peeks in and for some reason you start feeling a little free.

Contact: benj.caro@gmail.com

By Land, By Sea.

ESCAPE. [GMT-4 WASH DC]

Borderline. Bonus Video!

“Antequera De Oaxaca” on Melrose

 BORDERLINE. [GMT-7 LOS ANGELES]

This Tree Looks Illegal.

BORDERLINE. [GMT-4 WASH DC]

SPECIAL GUEST: My Sister, Natalie Caro

TWO. [GMT-7 LOS ANGELES]

Two Things are Wrong About This Photo.

TWO. [GMT-4 WASH DC]

1. Smoking is bad for you

2. Smoking is bad for you, at a gas station.

A Case For Never Getting Off Facebook

NUMERAL FRUSTRATION. [GMT-7 LOS ANGELES]

Going back through my Facebook timeline, I’ve noticed there are holes: swathes filled only by the colorless, drab blue permeating the background of every Facebook page. 2009 is heartbreakingly blank. The highlights of 2008 are a friend asking, “I didn’t know you were back on Facebook?” which is not a question, and “Life Events” telling me what I already know: I graduated college, I moved home, I started work. Why is this? Why such a superficial and untelling history? Those were the years I was off Facebook.

Sure, sure, there’s a chance I got more things done. I graduated school, got a job, wrote a play, wrote a feature, drove from DC to Albany and back numerous times, made Skype calls to  my long-distance girlfriend, spent a good fourth of my life writing daily emails to her, another fourth painfully watching Bones episodes with her. No matter whether I was on Facebook or not, most of my time was occupied. I didn’t get more done. I simply did more things in private.

And here’s the problem with privacy: most of the time, you need someone to keep your life in check. Most people have friends for this, some people pay therapists. Some people use Facebook as this barometer. The problem with my life from late 2007-2010 is that I had no barometer. I had gone dark. I had lost friends, I had been telling no one what was happening, I had gotten off all social media besides LinkedIn. So I understand why there are people out there not on Facebook because they don’t feel like they have time, or because they feel it takes up too much of their time. But I’d make a case for not risking it. When they look at their timeline, they won’t see huge blank spaces where their life should’ve been. If they stayed smart, they’ll see they had people who cared, places they went, conversations shared. People place a lot of emphasis on not putting your whole life on the internet, but transparency can be an amazing tool. Looking at those lost years makes me realize that I shouldn’t have ignored it, and how important it is to be living in public.

Twitter: @BenBenCaro

Inflation is a Bitch.

NUMERAL FRUSTRATION. [GMT-4 WASH DC]

$388.85 for a gallon of milk.

POEM: “BODIES”

GOSSIP. [GMT-7 LOS ANGELES]

I’m back in town again, and everyone knows it.
I feel one hundred eyes on me.
I feel signs going up, shutters, doors closing.

I pull the rope knot tight round the wood, horse kicks.
Dogs bark in the distance. The wind picks up.
I’m surrounded. Voices, whispers, old lips.
Eyes I’ve seen before, faces I’ve lit up.

Mud drips black off my coattail like spit from the mouth.
It snakes through the dirt.
I’ve got dead bodies hidden all over this town,
Under floorboards, behind barns, in the walls of homes on First.

Ghosts follow me to the Town Hotel,
follow me up the creaking stairs to my room with no lights.
I get into the bed. They follow me into my sheets.

Twitter: @BenBenCaro

Spill Your Guts!

GOSSIP. [GMT-4 WASH DC]

PHOTO: Great Abbreviations.

SOCKET. [GMT-7 LOS ANGELES]

Thank God my mom’s car sometimes abbreviates the alternative rock station.